Posts Tagged ‘Saying’
The Second Wedding – Saying "I Do" One More Time
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A growing number of people are making a trip down the aisle for the second time, whether as a result of divorce or death of a spouse. According to the US Census Bureau, one-third of couples who get married in the USA have been previously married and every year almost one million American women get married for the second time. A wedding is a family event which can be emotional whether you like it or not. A second wedding is quite unlike the first wedding. Although it has to be done in a slightly different manner,the planning should in no way be a source of stress; rather, it should be a source of joy and happiness.
The first people who should know about the engagement are the children, at the soonest possible time. Before making any plans to the nuptials, it is very important to seek their approval. Blending a step family is not like what we see on TV; it is often a turbulent and tearful phase for everyone. Time, perseverance and patience are definitely needed to unite the family as a whole. Second weddings are usually a smaller and more intimate affair, but it’s your call if you want to have a lavish one. Since this is something not new to you, there will be a lot of advantages during the organizing process: you know what could possibly go wrong, you have more ideas when it comes to style and theme since you have been into a lot of weddings already, parents can no longer impose their choice of guests since you will be calling the shots (you’re footing the bill this time, right?), and maybe you are more financially secured than when you first got married.
There are second wedding traditions which a bride can follow or simply ignore: The tradition of having a wedding cake doesn’t go away for the second one. Having a photographer to record the happy moments of the event is also a must. You will want to document the second wedding, especially if it is the first for one of you. The decision to walk up the aisle with your father or whoever gave you away before is entirely up to you. Some brides even choose to walk up the aisle alone, or on the arm of a son. This also goes with having attendants.
As there are no rules about this, it is up to the couple if they want to have the same set, or maybe choose at least a couple. It is likely that you and your partner already have children from a previous relationship-or maybe your own-then you will definitely want them to participate in the wedding plans. Including them in the whole planning process is the best way to make them feel involved. After all, it’s the whole family who’s getting married. Ask them if they want to get involved, and how. Make sure that they are comfortable with it, not merely forced.
Avoid comparing this wedding to the first one. Surely, your present groom-to-be, his family and friends don’t want to be reminded that you were married before. Making your wedding the exact opposite of the first one is pointless; it won’t stop people who had been there before from comparing. In the past, the white dress is a symbol of purity, and should not be worn on a second wedding. However, this is no longer the case-a lot of second-time brides choose to wear white, with all the tulle and satin trimmings. However, a veil or a gown that has a train is not usually worn but if you want to, go ahead.
Tiaras, flowers or a pretty wide-brimmed hat may be worn instead of a veil.
The author of this article Ruth Purple is a Relationship Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Ruth recently decided to go public and share her knowledge and experience through her website http://www.relazine.com. You can sign up for her free newsletter and join her coaching program.
